02222022 Tuesday February 22, 2022
3’ x 3’ acrylic mixed media on canvas
I have an overactive mind that’s constantly going over and over things. I take deep breaths constantly throughout the day. Surrendering each time praying for peace of mind. Working on artwork that I can just let it flow and develop on its own is healing on so many levels. Turning everything over to God daily. I feel like just did some spring cleaning in my mind. Release all the clutter!
Ruach (pronounced roo-akh) is the Hebrew word for spirit, breath, or wind. When spoken, the word engages one’s breath and lungs. The first mention of Ruach in the Bible is in the very first chapter of Genesis – Genesis 1:2 to be exact:
“Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit (Ruach) of God was hovering over the waters.”
Genesis 1:2 NIV
https://genesis.bible/genesis-1-2
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Grief feels like waves crashing in without any notice and slowly going back out. Sometimes taking my breath away with pressure so heavy I feel like I’m drowning. I can’t put into words the pain I’ve experienced in the last couple months mourning the physical death of my mother. But I can tell you that I have experienced Gods grace and faithfulness on a whole new level.
Because of my mom (she would say it’s the Holy Spirit and she’s right) I finally started studying the Bible the last 5 years. She had all kinds of great recommendations of stuff that she already studied. She said she would study it again if I would do it with her. As I’m writing this I’m just bawling because I wish I would’ve done more of those things before she passed. But I’m so incredibly grateful for the time we had. She taught me so much. She taught me to trust the process.
Let it flow even when it hurts. The growing pains are part of the process. There’s only been a few days that I haven’t cried. I miss her so much. I can hear her voice and things she would say to me. Like “something good can come out of this.” She would say that all of the time.
I have found peace in the pit of the barrel even as my tears fill up the ocean. Being called into the deep unknown has showed me how powerful Gods word really is. It is vital. It is a life line. It has continually pulled me from the darkness.
I’ve also witnessed an amazing community uplift me and my family through these difficult times. Thank you! So deeply grateful we have access to Gods word and are free to follow Jesus with our community.
Sometimes we have to sit still to get somewhere. Sometimes we have to release an ocean of tears to ride the grief waves. Sometimes we have to just sit in the ocean deep tears and let the waves crash over us. So that we can be cleansed. So we can trust. That this too shall pass. That this is not the end. We will see our loved ones again. In paradise.
”Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”“
Matthew 14:22, 27-33 NIV
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